The
goat-headed children of the Dark Gods have always appeared to be rather an
ill-fitting concept.
The physical
manifestation of that which goes bump in the night is hard enough, but to also
have to represent the threat the bestial fury of nature untamed represented to
isolated human settlements is a tough ask (I like to picture it as the set from
Sleepy Hollow, but with slightly less Johnny Depp and a dash more naked bipedal
goat dudes).
Everything
has always been problematic for these poor guys – just ask anyone who still
remembers the Old Game. In the old background stories there was a lot of what
can probably be best defined as Hentai (the writers were, after all, heavy
metal dudes (and should therefore be trusted only slightly more than Country
fans)) – there was a lot of random mutations, weird tentacles and all that good
stuff.
At some
point it turned out that Beast Herds were actually secret racial supremacists,
brutally putting down anything that wasn’t directly related to the Goat, Cow or
Pig families. One assumes countless screams echoed into silence as they
butchered the mighty Rabbit clans that must surely have existed (philosophers
remain divided about whether a hypothetical scream that no one heard in a
forest makes any sound). And don’t you *DARE* say that they are the same as
Vermin Swarm, but, you know, goats (and therefore more stupid).
[You may
think I jest – but seriously, there is a pack of goats terrorising a town in
New Zealand – these boys play hard-core.]
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| Pureblood FTW! |
As things
settled down the tentacle goodness became vague memories, and the racial purity
became the accepted norm (these goats have good PR), and the approach to using
Beast Herds on the table slowly started to stabilise.
Putting
comparative power levels to one side, the Dark Conclave of the Faceless TM
pending (who, it is rumoured, employ the same PR agency as these goats)
appeared to have get the flavour just about right.
Brutal
combat power (I have been head-butted by a goat, it was not as funny as it
sounds), arguably similar in its application style to Orcs, but with the added
dimension of a heavy utilisation of the Ambush mechanic to try and recreate the
enveloping nature of hunters closing in on prey. Come to think of it though,
two things come to mind:
• Whoever lets a Giant (even if he is
sober!) creep up behind their army needs to fire their scouts; and
• Seriously – who taught goats to eat
meat?!
I have not
paid much heed to the various changes leading up to the release of 0.99.0, but
my overlying feeling going in is that, fundamentally, Beast Herds may be the
single most brutal combat army in the game. An army that has wide access to
combat rerolls that combines bulk with teeth will always have the potential to
completely remove opponents from the table. They will, of course, have some bad
matchups, but the DNA here is impressive.
BEAST HERDS
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| Goats go to war! |
Primal
Instinct – a weird combination of the film Basic Instinct and the game Killer
Instinct – brutally sexy.
Drunkard – a
rule written by people who have played the Irish at the ETC (and proof, (at
last!) that Dwarves can hold their drink better than goats.
Pack Tactics
– this is a nice touch. You would think this fitting for a sneak attack of a
wolf (or velociraptor), but actually it’s always the goat you don't see that
gets you…
Looted Booze
– thankfully only works one way. If they had a drink that turned you from drunk
to sober they could make a nice little profit.
Blood
Offering – this is an interesting one. Reroll a panic at the cost of a wound is
one of those rules you hope to never have to use, but *could* save you a game.
Nice (some other races could thematically have similar come to think of it).
Forest
Strider – not listed at the beginning, but strewn throughout the list. A very
powerful ability if you think about it for a sec.
Half Horse –
ok…
Armoury:
So,
seriously, these goats could make a killing selling their weapons technology
other armies.
A Staff that
gives you either the benefit of a Great Weapon or Heavy Armour is some ninja
baddassery (eat your heart out Donatello), and an Axe with a shield tied to the
end of it has to be a good thing too…
Totems:
This is a
very cool concept. I approve [sighs of relief all round]. A bunch of bound
spell options – all of which are brilliantly synergistic with the “I am going
to come over there and do bad things to you” approach to life that these
(presumably kiwi) goats hold dear.
Magic Items:
Does The
Impaler seems tad nuts, or is it just me? A bolt thrower that always hits on 3+
and is also a (foot) lance on the charge? Hard not to like.
Greathorn
Helm continues to be a Minotaur Lord’s wet dream
Eye of
Dominance is one of those 15 point items I have no idea if will end up in
lists, but you will definitely remember the day your opponent had it and ruined
your day.
Pillager
Icon – 18 vanguarding Razortusks? Why not? It’s not like we are vanguarding
goats here, relax people!
Dark Rain
is, quite simply, an epic pain in the bum (especially if combined with the
likes of the Icon above). In the right matchups it can be game over, pretty
quick.
Lords
Minotaur
Warlord – surely a challenger for the title of “best combat character in the
game”? Taking away its ability to make Minotaurs core is a Good Thing. I find
it hard not to love this chap – but then cows are notoriously sweethearts, so
that’s not surprising really.
The term
‘Vanilla’ tends to have bad connotations, which is a pity because, effectively
used, vanilla can elevate an entire dish. Either way, the Gnarled Soothsayer
and the Beast Lord are the vanilla characters in the book, but with a handful
of chilli flakes thrown in the turn up the heat. The ninja-staff wielding
Soothsayer can ride a chariot (and thereby officially be boss-mode with goat
nads hanging out). The Lord, not to be outdone, allows for Ambush roles to be
rerolled, and for them to start coming on turn one. This is big – the
opportunity cost of Ambush is something easily forgotten in the fun of freaking
your opponent out, this counters that.
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| Boss-Mode |
Heroes
Minotaur
Chieftains, Beast Chieftains and Soothsayers are exactly as you would expect
them to be – the hardworking chaps who are tasked with carrying banners, dispel
scrolls and (presumably) slop buckets. Notably, the Soothsayer, keen to be
noticed and one day become ‘Gnarled’ can ambush. The ability to tote totems
around is an interesting option for the non-magical fraternity.
I should
love the Centaur Chieftain. Its special rules kind of say it all
“Special
Rules:
Drunkard,
Half Horse”
Adding to
this (as if you need to add anything when you open with drunken half horses –
that’s a mike drop moment), is the ability to take Centaurs in core if you want
this sobriety-challenged equine-featured chap to be your general (there is even
a choice to buy him an extra wound and make him feel more general-like). I’m
not entirely sure why I don’t love this idea (I think I may be coming down with
a cold or something) I know I *should* love it – so let’s pretend I do.
Core
Wildhorn are
your mainstay cattle breed combat block. 5 points a mode for a M5, WS4, T4 core
trooper makes my skeletons exceptionally jealous. Smaller units can now ambush.
Expect to see a unit of 50 running at you whilst smaller ones pop up next
to/behind you – and then pray that the goats are only hungry…
Mongrel
Herds are the cute itsy ones ranked up. The sneaky ones are Raiders (who have
had their minimum size increased to 10, which is a Good Thing).
Feral
Hounds… dogs have to be the most widely available, and least useful unit in the
game (though ambushing ones could actually have a place to be fair).
Beast Herds
having chariots has been controversial for some time - devilishly tricky to
navigate forest undergrowth on a pig-pulled chariot one would assume? Turns out
we were wrong. It’s so easy to bob and weave between trees in fact, that they
can field Chariots in units. Because reasons.
Special
As is the
clear intent in the 9th Age style, the big punch is reserved for this slot.
Minotaurs
hit as hard as you wold expect - my Ghasts and Vampire Spawn (not to make this
*entirely about me) are rather sad about this whole thing, so I will move one.
Longhorn
Herds are hobby-ruining S6 delivery engines made flesh. Brilliantly powerful
unit (not done the maths to wonder about if actually worth taking, but their
power is undeniable).
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| Be afraid... be very afraid.... |
Centaurs
struggle for me because of all the cool other stuff there is in the list. Cool
though.
Gargoyles.
Because this army needs *more* chaff.
Razortusk
Herds are the secret weapon of the book (assuming there is something suitably
secret about a pig the size of a Fiat hurtling towards you. 35points per model
for a 4 Attack, 3 Wound S&T 5 model with M7 swiftstride (and Thunderous
Charge) is flat out INCREDIBLE (and that’s before you factor in the magic
support and other threats that the Herd will occupy you with. Possibly the best
unit in the book.
Razortusk
Chariots. As you would expect.
Briar Beast.
YAY! MORE CHAFF! Ahem… Except, this is actually potentially devastating. Being
able to bring it on any turn from any forest on the table will give some gun
lines (or light bunkers) the absolute fits.
Rare
Cyclops are
interesting. Other than being grumpy Mediterranean builders, they bring a nice
mix of shooting and combat effectiveness. I am not entirely sure how it stacks
up when the points get tight against the other options, but very hard to kill
artillery is always interesting.
Gortachs are
not the most subtle of tools. Fast. Very Strong. Very Tough. Self-Healing… I
can see why The Powers limited the total number of Minotaur Lords you can have
if you bring these boys to the party (though a Minotaur Lord and two Gortachs
seems like an eminently terrifying option).
Jabberwocks
are arguably the least weird thing about Through the Looking Glass, but I will
admit they are slightly weird. An *incredibly* cheap support monster, this
thing definitely has potential.
Beast Giants
can ambush, and that makes me love them (from a cinematic point of view if
nothing else). Otherwise, they are Giants, and therefore will definitely let
you down.
And there we
have it.
I must say I
am quite impressed with the finished article. There is a lot of power here,
that does without saying, but the thing that appeals to be the most is that, if
used to this effect, this army can recreate the mad panic you would assume a
sudden assault from hungry goats would be.
A tide of
tough troops and monsters running at you at speed, forcing target priority
decisions.
Units coming
on from behind you forcing you to split your focus.
And weird
things lurking in the forest ready to pounce should the opportunity announce
itself.
All very
very cool.
I think
there are some traps here – the army has an overwhelming number of chaff
options for unwary generals to throw points away on. Even little things like
that very 9th Age fashion accessory, the Throwing Weapons, are potential points
sinks.
For me this
army probably punches people in the face better than any other army out there,
and I would focus on that. There will be bad matchups out there (there always
are, especially for combat armies), but there is something noble about a goat
punching a man in the face.
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